OH NO!

I just read through some of my earlier posts. And.. there is no mention of Aaron and I breaking up. There is no mention of any of the stupid shit throughout sophomore year. There's no mention about the beginning of me and Nate, kinda... WHAT!! That's important, dude.

June of 2009. I went to Foster Music Camp (FMC). And.. I kissed someone. Troy. So that was a big 'ole mess. I would explain more, but that is a 15-page story all on its own. To make it short, I felt really bad about cheating on Aaron, but then I felt it was the right thing to do to break up with him. So I did. I know, it was a crazy move where we had just gotten back together and everything. But then, on July 4, we basically told each other we wanted to get back together and I kissed him, which I think I might have mentioned that in an earlier post. But then, on September 21, three days after our one-year aniversary, I broke up with him. Again? I know. I'm horrible. Just gotta deal with my horribleness, I guess. But that was the last time we broke up. And now he's dating some really ugly emo girl named Heather. Good for them. He asked her out like 2-3 days after we broke up. Ass.

The whole summer of '09 Nate never spoke a word to me. But he was still on my mind. However, when school started back in August, things were kinda different. Kinda. At that point, Danielle was still going to our school (explain in a min). So, on the first day of school, it was mostly silence. Because I wouldn't talk to him. I mean.. I was really pissed off.. But he tried to get me to smell his bandaged hand (he had burned himself at work) at lunch, saying it smelled like the hospital. Err.. Okay. So, don't ask me why, but I smelled the stinkin' thing. Then, the next day, there was an assembly for sophomores (that was us). I sat between him and Leppy. We flirted the WHOLE time. We traded wristbands.. which I still have O_o. He said he would want to clone himself so the clone him could live the way he had to and the real him could live the way he wanted to with me. I mean, come on, that's sweet. But Tasha was sitting behind us. And she was one of Danielle's best friends. So of course she went and blabbed, blowing it way out of proportion. So Danielle freaks out on Nate. Whatever. Except that he listens to her, wtf? He comes up to me and tells me, with her semiclose behind him, that he can't talk to me anymore. And just walks away. I swear to God, every step he took away from me was another rip to my heart. Anyway. I don't know how long it was after that, maybe a few days or a week, but he kept talking to me. Secretly, through notes and phone conversations. Ugh.. I hated it, though. Finally, after Danielle cheated on him, he broke up with her. But we still weren't together yet. By now, it was fall break at school, and I was going to Myrtle Beach with my family (me, Mom, Eddie, Abby, Rachel, Kari, Nanna) and Terreasa, Laymon, Heather, and Trent. But I swear to you, we talked at any time we could. Seriously. All night. Until like 3:30am. And the only reason we got off the phone then was because he had to wake up early and go to work. He was so amazing to me then. The night I got home, we talked pretty much all night long. Then, on Labor Day, I'm pretty sure, because it was a Monday and around that time, we went to the park together and he asked me to be his girlfriend. I kinda flipped out and hugged him for my answer. Well, I whispered yes, but I don't think he heard me. Anyway, that's how it happened.

I love him more than anything in the world. But my heart still won't forget about how it used to be. I don't think it ever will. I mean, aren't the people who are actually worth your tears the ones who never make you cry? Ugh, I hate thinking about stuff like this.

Ramble, ramble.

Soo. Today, Nathan came up around 12 to get me and go walk around town some. We were out for about an hour, and it started pouring the rain. Grr.. So Mom was all "Ahh! My baby's getting wet!" and we had to go. Mom wanted to go to WalMart, and decided it had to be done then and there, so we had to take Nate home cos he had to be back by 2 in order to get to work :[. That was the last I'll be able to see of him for TWO WEEKS. Insane. I don't really look forward to spending that much time away from him, even though I love music camp. I just kinda wish I was just going to Voice Camp instead of voice and piano. Probably what I should've done... Rachel's only going to be there for voice, anyway. So that means the only person I'm going to know there is Troy. And Matt, but I think he hates me since I wouldn't dirty dance with him.. O_o.

I crave Coke. Which is EXTREMELY weird, since I don't drink soda... Ever. I'm a water and tea kinda gal. But I think all we have is diet Pepsi. Ew. I think I'm going to drink one, anyway.. -mental barf while jeoprady theme song plays-. I'm back from getting one, and I really shouldn't be drinking this. Eh. -dies-

Mom's gone to a "summer party" at Jodi's house. How cute.. But she forgot to stick around long enough for me to be able to meet up with my voice teacher, Mrs. Kelley, at Hardee's to get my sheet music I need for voice camp! ARGH! So now I'm trying to figure out a way to still get the music before I leave, and I have no way of getting around. I may have my permit, but no one's here to drive with me, and not only is it illegal to drive alone right now, but I don't think I'd be comfortable with it. Well.. Maybe I'd be okay JUST going to Hardee's. I mean, it's just down my hill (by the way, I live on a hill). Still, I have a dilemma. And Mutti (mom) won't answer her cell phone. Grrr. I tried to explain where I live to Mrs. Kelley, but it's kind of hard not to give complicated directions to my house. So later, she's going to call back and have me walk her through getting here. Meanwhile, I'm racking my brain trying to remember anything she might encounter getting up here, because she's taking a route that I don't normally use. What to do....

I think I'm going to audition for the honor's choir at voice camp. That's why I need the music in the first place. Rachel and I are going to try out together with Agnus Dei (awn-yoos day-ee). It's a gorgeous Latin duet :]. I was going to do a solo, but I think that I'll feel more comfortable with this ;]. I've never been in the honors choir. Probably because I never really auditioned :P.

Sean got me Season 1 Volume 1 of Glee! Haha. I love that stinkin' show. Rachel's my favorite character, she reminds me of myself in some ways. Only some ways. Definitely not every way. Jeez, chill. So I think I'm gonna watch the newest episode on hulu later :D. I mean, I have a ton of time to kill before 2 or 3am, when I can expect to hear from Nate, hopefully.. His house phone was disconnected yesterday morning. I've been talking to him through text via Dee(his sister)'s cell, but iduno how much money she has left on her phone or anything. But Nathan did say that if he gets paid tonight (which, he thinks he will), then he'll run down to WalMart or something and get some phone time for his mom's cell so he can talk to me. I love him to death, but he shouldn't freak out about being able to call. He thinks I'll get mad at him if he doesn't :[. He knows I won't deep down, I think. He's just really not used to having a girlfriend that doesn't get mad at him over every little thing. I wouldn't really be able to stand that, I don't think.

A blog you should look at is http://beeswaxlol.blogspot.com - it's Max's. He's a pretty good writer, and he doesn't ramble on as much as me ;D.

Headin' out. Not really. Just done with this post, cos it's gonna be mega-long.

Later! :D

Curiouser & Curiouser

I'm posting this from my phone, so excuse any weird things that might not otherwise be here...

Just wanted to update a little while I'm waiting for mom to get off the phone so we can finish Alice In Wonderland. Foster Music Camp starts Sunday. Well, piano camp does. Voice camp doesn't start until next Sunday. But I'm really gonna miss Nate.. :( But I'm gonna definitely talk to him a ton to make it somewhat better and everything.

I had to go to the "female" doctor yesterday.. So now I'm on birth control pills. Tricyclin or something like that.. I'm kinda nervous about it because of some of the possible symptoms :/. But everything should be okay?

Well, Mom's coming back. Back to Wonderland :]. Laterrrrr, xo

Surprise!

First off, happy birthday to me! I'm 16 :].

Secondly, I was right about Mom and Nate being up to something.. Shall explain momentarily. I like to go in order.

So, I got my driver's permit today :D. It was kinda crazy- there was this creeper in front of me that kept calling me "pretty girl" and "hunny" and stuff... And then after I passed my test, the policeman gave me the creeper dude's form! Grr. So I had to go back and give it to him. And then, whenever I was going back to the OTHER building to take my picture, there he was again. "Hey, you had my card!" Umm. Yeah. I did. But by accident, creeper! Haha. Then after I got the permit issued, he asked to see my picture. So I showed it to him, and he was all "Uh oh, you're underage, arentcha?" Err..... YES! Yes, I am. BYE!!! He really weirded me out. But then I drove around town :D

So, then, around 2:30 or so, I went with my dad driving around a little bit. Then we went and got sno cones from Sean, and mine was free, cos I'm the birthday girl! Then I drove us to Paintsville to see Gammie. So we stayed there for a bit, then dad drove me home, where....

There was a surprise party! By Mom, Abby, Nate, Sean, Mikey, and Box. Which, by the way, I was totally suspicious of. But, it was fun. We karaoked some, and ate and stuff. For the most part, it was kinda awkward. I hate throwing parties... I mean, technically, I didn't throw it. But it was still in my honor? So I still felt funny. But eh. It made me feel special that people actually cared enough to do all that for me, though. It was really sweet.

Yeah, so that was my day :].

So.. I guess I don't really have much else to ramble about for right now. Lucky you ;].

I LOVE YOU! xoxo

Blah, blah, blah.

Today was pretty good. Except I was extremely tired this morning and my lovely mommy made me get up and go to church -_-. After that, we (me, Mom, Abby, Eddie) went to El Azul for lunch and came home. I sat around the house making cds and random shit until 5:00. Then Abby, Mom, and I went randomly to get ice cream? And we looked at cars. For me! Cos I'm sixteen in practically a day. Woo. Except I'm not really all that excited anymore.. But eh. Then I had to go to youth group until 6:30 :/. But then I went to band practice. It was good, but stressful. I'm really bad at improvising pitches and words with voice..

Mom told me Nate tried to get my birthday off from work, but that he couldn't. But then she started acting really funny about it when she dropped me off to band practice..? And Nate couldn't hold eye contact with me when I questioned him about it. So, umm.. I'm suspicious? They're really bad at keeping secrets from me..

BLAH BLAH. Kinda bored. Talking to Max. Which is good. Max is fun to talk to, and it's really easy for me to talk to him where we're so familiar. Okay, weird moment.

I guess there's not much more for me to say. I'm outta here.

Latah!

Who wants icons? :]

Well..

I was going to upload some icons. But, Blogger decided to be stupid and not let the browse button be clicked. Or maybe it's just my computer.. Either way, technology is definitely not on my side right now. So, hopefully I'll be able to get those up here pretty soon..

So, it's 12:30am. I've still got an hour and a half to go until I can talk to Nathan. I can do this! Maybe. Kinda bored. When I'm bored, two things happen. I get sleepy, and I get hungry. Both of which suck, especially on weekends when Nate normally works. Except now it's summer, and he's going to be working on weekdays now, too. SIGH. Oh well, it's okay. We'll still make time :].

Wonder how I should make this next hour and a half fly by.. Maybe I'll play sudoku. And I'm talking to Sean on msn, so that helps, too. While on the subject of Sean, he just kicked my ass in checkers! Grrr.

Guess I don't really have much to say. Goodnight, guys.

Later, xoxo

Formspring me!

Feel free to ask me anything, anonymously if you wish. I love answering questions :]

Wow.

Well, it's definitely been a long time. Sorry about that. I don't really have a good reason, other than the fact that I've been really busy with a bunch of school crap and I'm just hardly ever online anymore. I'm gonna make an effort to keep this up, though. Blogging really does kinda help me out sometimies. I guess I've just been spending too much time with my paper journal :P

School ended May 28. So I'm a junior now.. weird. I'll be 16 on Tuesday.. weirder. I really don't feel like I'm getting any older. I mean, I feel like I look 12. Eh.

Oh, Lord. I just looked at my posts. I haven't posted since OCTOBER?! Wtf! And I didn't even give any real info? Wow, I'm crazy. I guess I can try to fill in? Ugh. I hate doing that.

So, on October 5, I started dating this guy named Nathan. Today is our eight month aniversary. He's really good to me, and I love the little booger to death. He'll be 17 on July 25. Just thought I'd throw in some age perspective. The day before our six month aniversary, Nate gave me a promise ring. It's absolutely beautiful, and it really meant a lot to me. Hmm, what else? That's pretty much the basics with me and Nathan. I'll post a picture of us at the end of this post, maybe.

School this past year was pretty crazy. One of my favorite classes was probably Honors English 10. It was hard as shit, but it was pretty awesome and I actually learned a lot, which normally isn't something I can say coming out of classes. Wow, I just sounded like an uber nerd xD.

Eh. Updating sucks. Michaela and I are still friends. Mary and I are really good friends. Sean and I are still "illegitimate cousins." Aaron and I don't talk, due to the fact that I can't both talk to him and not cry. Austin is probably moving back to Pikeville, and that's a really good thing, because we were best friends, even after we broke up. Max still goes to school with me. He'll be a senior this year. We don't really talk much, though. Just thought I'd mention him in here, since a large chunk of my previous posts involved him. Hmm.. who else should I mention....... Danielle. Nathan's most recent ex. She hates me, and I can't say I feel any differently about her. Supposedly she was going back to PA with some Ted loser, but I saw her working at Dairy Cheer the other day. Bitch.

Enough updating. If I think of something else that needs to be filled in, I'll do so as we go :].

So, Nate and I kinda got into it today. For the first time, ever. I feel really bad about it.. This is how it all started: Since today was our eight months, we were gonna hang out, but my mom decided not to let me go to the park, for some unfathomable reason. So Nate was like, "Well, I was going to give you something today, but since we can't see each other, I'll just tell you what it is." Okay. What is it? "It's a locket. I put a picture of you on one side of it and a picture of me on the other, and I taped a lock of my hair and a note inside, too. And I engraved the back of it." Silence. I mean, I didn't know what to say. Isn't that one of the sweetest things you've ever heard? Yeah. But.. Nate's given a locket with a lock of his hair inside to another girl named Courtney/Allison (people call her different things). So it really bothered me. I didn't really say it at first.. I was just like "Nate, that's probably the sweetest idea for a gift I've ever heard, but I've heard it before. From you." He pretty much knew what I was talking about. So, to make a long story short, he kept claiming that he wasn't even thinking about that and that mine was so much more special and he wasn't trying to give me the same thing. Pretty much trying to say he had forgotten about the C/A locket. Well, I mean, I couldn't believe that. Could you? Nuh uh. That's a pretty creative, original idea. You don't just do it and forget about it and unknowingly do it again. But everything ended up being okay. I started thinking, and I came to the conclusion that, even if he DID remember about the other locket and made mine anyway, it'd be alright. He was always saying how she didn't really appreciate anything good that went on between them, that they were always fighting and she was always cheating on him. So nothing was really special between them, and the awesome locket idea went to waste and all that. But now we're together, and he knows that I appreciate and highlight all the good things that we have, and our time together is very special to me. So, because he wanted to give me something I'd think was special and romantic, he recreated the locket idea in a new and improved way to give to me because he knew that I'd actually appreciate it for it's sentimental value. Does that even make any sense? I have a tough time with words most times. We're fine now, though. No one's mad or hurt anymore. It's a good 8-month, ignoring the fact that Nate had to work. By the way, Nathan works in the kitchen at Reno's Roadhouse. It's kind of a redneck heaven, haha.

Just thought of another update.. I babysit a kid named Daniel. He just recently turned 8, and his parents are divorced. I usually stay with him at Kelli's house (his mom). Thursday and Friday, I babysat him at Kevin's house, though (his dad). During the school year, I babysit on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, and Thursdays from 3pm-5pm. On days without school whenever they need me, I babysit from 7:30am-5pm.

So, on Friday, as I was babysitting, I looked out the window and saw Sean swimming in Daniel's pool! Random, right? Chloe, his girlfriend, and his mom were out there with him. So I went out there with them and swam for a bit :] It was fun.

Right now, I'm just kinda trying to ramble and take up time. I need to stay awake until 2, cos that's what time Nate gets home from work, and I really wana talk to him. But, it's only 10:14. So I have a lot (too much) time to kill.. sigh.

If anyone still even reads this thing, I doubt they're still reading since this post is so long. However, if anyone IS reading, you should leave a comment with what you do when you're bored. Stuff to do online is preferred, but if you've got other fun stuff, go for it.

I think I'm gonna end this post here, it's extremely long. I might post again tonight with icons or a survey or something. And I'll probably put a formspring widget on here. Feel free to ask me questions on there! My url is www.formspring.me/iamkati

there's me and Nathan<33

I'm outta here. xoxo, kati