So. Wow.

Today is June 1st. A lot has happened. -Sigh- But first, let me say something.

S-U-M-M-E-R B-R-E-A-K!! That is all.

So, Friday was the last day of school. But I'll start with Thursday. Or, actually, I'll start with this fact: Nathan hasn't spoken a word to me in over a week. It really pissed me off. It still bothers me, just not as bad as it did while I was still foolishly waiting on him to actually DO something. God, why are guys such asses? Not all guys. Just most. Anyway, Nate hasn't been talking to me. He's been point-blank ignoring/avoiding me. Whatever, though. But this is what makes me mad: He called Aaron the other day, apologizing to HIM for things I was doing?! What?!?! Ugh.. So Aaron told him he wasn't mad, but that he needed to be telling me something. So Nate tells Aaron he's never going to talk to me again for him, and that he'd made it clear to everyone that he wasn't going to date me, but rather stay with Danielle or go with Jaclyn(girl he met a while back, but nothing ever really happened). Excuse me? Made it clear to everyone? Everyone? Am I no one? Because that REALLY wasn't clear to me!! Whatever. I just don't like being played with, and yes, I'm taking it personally..? Ugh, I just don't know about him. And the more I think about it, the more I think all this shit that's happened is his fault. But, idunno, I guess I shouldn't be playing the blame game. Or maybe I have that right? Ergh, I just don't know. So, me/Nate= NO.

Note: On Wednesday, seventh and fourth period exams were held, and then we went to first, second, third, fifth, and sixth period classes. On Thursday, first, second, and third period exams were held, and then we went to fifth and sixth period classes. On Friday, fifth and sixth period exams were held, and then school was out. I only took one exam- and that was Health, which was third period.

So when I got all that information into my head and just pretty much forgot about him, that was Wednesday. I just figured out that he didn't want anything to do with me anymore. That was before I talked to Aaron and he told me he'd called him, but I had still figured out earlier that he was avoiding me for some reason unknown to me. Ugh. But then, on Wednesday, also, I was talking to Mikey. And he pretty much came out and told me he liked me(this was during seventh period's exemptions). And I just didn't know what to think about that. For some reason, it made me happy. So I had to think, "Do I like Mikey? I don't know!" I've had to think that a lot about different people.. But iuno, it never really went anywhere- mostly because the bell rang for the next exemption, and he wasn't exempt fourth period. But I just didn't really think a lot about it- I mean, I don't really know Mikey too well, and I thought he and Randa were going to end up together, anyway. So, during fourth period exemptions I just kinda hung around with whoever: Sean, Michaela, Lauren, just whoever. It was pretty uneventful.

And Thursday, there was Austin. God, Austin. The one who's liked me for over a year and a few months now, without liking anyone else, unless you count Randa, who he liked for about one day. But he was one of my best friends. A good guy. A good listener. A good talker. He didn't judge me. He took up for me if someone was saying something bad about me, he got people to quit bothering me if he could sense that they were. And he was always pretty good at figuring out if they were or not. But I never felt anything more for him but friendship. But, the more I talked to Leppy, the harder it was to push things away, and just, things happen, ya know? So I found myself telling Leppy that I might like Austin, but that I wasn't sure, and that I still loved Aaron with all my heart. So Leppy got really pushy with it all- and the next thing I know, Austin's asking me out and I'm saying- what, I'm saying "yes?!" What?! Exactly how I felt. I didn't know what I was doing, really. I kept asking myself what I'd gotten myself into. And I knew I had to do something about it, because here I was, with someone who genuinely cared about me, and I just wasn't putting forth much of anything. AND, I knew I had to have been absolutely k-i-l-l-i-n-g Aaron with all of my complicated bullshit! Ugh, so he asked me out Thursday night. I got off the phone with him and immediately called Aaron to tell him what was going on, and before I knew it, I was crying my heart out. I have the tendancy to jump into holes too deep to climb back out of. And then there was Friday....

I told Michaela what had happened that morning at school- our bus always gets there before all the others. She told me I needed to be doing something, quick. I agreed one hundred percent. So Leppy's bus gets there. He knows what's happened- because Austin called and told him. I tell him that I'm not sure if I've done the right thing. He says I have, but I wasn't as quick to agree on this one. Then Austin comes in, and everything gets kind of awkward, so I act sleepy, which I was, anyway, so yeah. Then we have to head off to fifth period to either turn in exemptions(me) or take the exam(Austin). I go down to exemptions with Lauren and then I end up talking to Christa for a while. A few minutes later, Aaron logs onto msn, and sends me a message, which I get on my phone, and I didn't know my phone did that so I was kinda excited to be talking to him. He said he was at his sister's (she lives directly across from the high school). I told him to go out and sit on the porch. He does, with the laptop. I go and stand and text him by the window, so I can see him, but he can't really see me, but yet, it made me feel so much better for some reason, but I still felt as if I was doing something forbidden. But we talked like that for all of exemption, which lasted for an hour and a half. Then I had to tell him to go back inside because the bell had just rang and Austin was coming, and I definitely didn't want to start any trouble with him. So then Austin and I went to sixth period, which we were both exempt from. We went into the cafeteria for exemptions. We sat with Leppy, Eric, and Will. Will and I listened to his zune- they all played quarters. Which is a stupid game. Anyway, Austin holds my hand, and I feel wrong. But I let him do it anyway. I mean, it's just holding hands, right? No big deal. I mean, I hold hands with random friends all the time. So, no biggie. But it felt like a biggie. Eventually, the bell rang. There were shouts and screams and whoops and all that for the end of the school year. I just kind of quietly said "Yay!" and then we went outside. Aaron texted me through msn: "Can I come over?" I replied "Sure" and so he walked over to the school. That's when I lost it. I mean, I started crying, because I really really wanted Aaron but I felt like I couldn't have him. And I couldn't even look at him either because Leppy was like hiding me! So then Austin tells Aaron to leave because I didn't WANT him there! WHAT! I didn't say that! Urgh.. So then Aaron actually leaves! He really did it.. good God. I don't know WHY he left- I mean, he knew I wanted him there. But I guess he thought Austin was telling him the truth. So after Aaron leaves, Austin comes back and apologizes to me, saying "I'm really sorry, Kati, I mean, I just didn't know he was just going to just show up! like that. He really shouldn't have. I'm sorry." I just kind of gave him a look and didn't really say anything except for "I'm fine, don't worry" to all the people asking me what was wrong. I mostly used the excuse of "Aw, I can't believe it's the end of the year!", which I definitely didn't mean (I was ecstatic the year was out). Finally, Leppy's bus came, and he and Austin left. Then Abby left with Rachel. So I was there with Lauren, telling her how bad I just wanted to run over there and get him. So that's exactly what we did. About halfway there, Aaron looks out the door, but then he runs right back inside? So I shout "AARON!" and he comes back out, running, to give me the hugest hug ever, and then, before I know what's going on, we've kissed. And I finally feel at home through this whole mess. So we walk back over to the school and wait on my bus, which Lauren also rides. And we kiss again. Then my bus comes, and I kiss him again and promise to call him later. And then I go home. And that was school on Friday.

I got home around 12, and Austin called me around one, wanting to go to a movie. I tell Austin how I feel about everything, and he's pretty damn upset. But I had to end things, or nothing would have been right, ya know? So I broke up with him. We get off the phone. I call Aaron. I ask him to a movie at four. So, Aaron and I go to the movies at four, and we see Drag Me To Hell. It was actually pretty creepy, and movies can never creep me out. But this one was a good 'un. Haha. I said 'un. Whatever. So after the movie, he went to his sister's and I went back home and walked the dogs. All seemed well again.

Saturday, my mom's stepdad, Philip came over. I hadn't seen him since I was about five. But while I was really small, he was pretty much my favorite person. And then he just lost touch. He never called or came to visit, and the more I thought about it, the more upset and hurt I was. So when he just randomly decides to come up, I'm not too happy about it at first. But when he actually gets here, I'm definitely way too happy to be mad anymore. We all went to the dairy bar and then to the park to eat it, and then he had to go home. After we got home, I really wanted to see Aaron again, so I asked Mom if I could go to the park with him, and she actually let me! Argh. It was lots of fun. We just talked and swung on the swings and sat on the bench and ran around being stupid and happy that we had each other again. So then we walked to Hardee's and Aaron got a burger and walked me home, where he ate it on the front porch and I kept stealing bites of it :]. Then Aaron left to his sister's, and that was Saturday.

Sunday was eventful in a good way. I woke up too late to go to Sunday School, but still could get ready for church. So we went to church. After church, we came home and made lunch, and then I had to go to the high school graduation at 1:30 to sing. Around 2:30, I left graduation and went to the pool with Aaron and Leppy. It was really fun, but the water was absolutely freezing, so I only stayed in for a couple minutes. Leppy went and got a pizza, so we just sat out in the sun, eating pizza, being stupid. It was fun. Really fun. :] It just kind of made summer official. Well, not quite. When Aaron finally gets out of school on June 12, then summer will be official. So, around six, Mom came and took me home, and Aaron went to his sister's. Then I ate, and walked the dogs, and called Aaron, and went to sleep. Yesterday(Sunday) was a good day. :]

Today, nothing's happened yet. Mom and Eddie have their aniversary today, they're out golfing right now. I might go to the pool when they get home, maybe. Aaron's at school. It's just... summer. It's fun, it's lazy, it's warm. It's nice. :]

I guess I'll post another later today or tomorrow. I'm just glad all this drama's over with. -contented sigh- :]

Later, xoxo