Soft kitty, warm kitty...

So, why is it that every time I come here to write, it's been FOREVER since I've written? It makes it so aggravating. Maybe I'll set a weekly alarm on my phone so I can get back in the habit.

Welll. Nathan and I broke up in October, shortly after our 1-year anniversary. I'm not really sure what my reason was or if I even had one that people would consider a "legitimate" reason. I just wasn't happy. He was ALWAYS sad and I never knew what to do. So neither one of us were ever happy. And I was always so hung up over Aaron still. So the plan was to take some time to myself and sort things out in my head. Hopefully Nathan and I could still be friends. He seemed to really like that idea. But then...

On October 24, I started dating Will. Yeah, I know, extremely soon, blah blah. But I really liked him. And it seemed like he really liked me, too. But for the first three weeks or so, everything was so painfully weird. He hardly talked to me at all, and I spent a whole lot of time crying my eyes out wondering what on earth I'd gotten myself into. Needless to say, it's gotten better. We've been dating for around three and a half months now. I really love him, but man I think he's clueless. He's had girlfriends before. I mean, he dated Tara for like two and a half years or something like that. And he kind of not really dated Mary. But he's been around girls a lot is my point. And yet he still does all this crazy stuff and I don't really know what to make of it. Several times he's made plans with me and acted so incredibly excited about them, just to cancel them so he can go hang out with someone else. Or he tells one of the biggest secrets of my life to his friend. It drives me insane.. I can't tell if he's taking crazy advantage of me or if he really just has no idea what on earth he's doing. I love him to DEATH! I guess that's the problem. When you really love someone and you open yourself up to them, it leaves you vulnerable to get hurt. But I've never been hurt this much this often in any other relationship. I don't know why. I don't blame him or anything. I just.. UGH. I hate feeling heartbroken all the time. I'm making him sound awful, but really he's not. He can be sweet when he stops trying and acting nervous. He plays with my hair and calls me princess. Today at lunch, I went back through to get some salt and I accidentally got pepper. I was frustrated (haha, but what else is new?) and I guess it showed, cos he went back through and got me salt. I know that sounds weird and dumb, but it was really sweet. Idk, I guess there's not much point to this paragraph. I'm just super aggravated today.

I leave for Italy on March 24. I'm super excited! I need to find some outlet adapters for my laptop, hair straightener, etc.

So it's a Friday night and I've got nothing better to do than sit on my couch with my dog, watch Amercia's Funniest Videos, and type random thoughts. Will's at a party. Isn't life fabulous? Aren't I supposed to have like.. friends or something? Haha... I'm not very social :[. I probably would've hung out with Mary, but today was her birthday and she had amazing plans :] I didn't want to bum her out too much on her birthday. What kinda friend would that be? There was a Valentine's Dance tonight.. Courtney went to that. It's still going on, actually. I could go, but idk. I'd feel awkward. It's like a dance for all the high schools in the area, and it's hosted at a school that I don't go to. I'd definitely hang out with Krisana or Sean if they weren't states away. So Millie (my dog) and I are just chillin on the couch. Mom's got Jeannie and Kathy over- they're both on call. Mom and Kathy just got home, Jeannie's been in bed for a little while. Abby's on the phone in her room. And me? Well. I'm just havin' myself a nice little party. I know I'm being bitter. It really hasn't been my day. I NEVER get a B. A B might as well be a D for me. And apparently I got a B on my APES (AP Environmental Science) test. FML! I've got an A overall for the class, but still. It bothers me. And then the junk that went on with my boyfriend today. Craziness. It really is. I could go on and on.. but I won't. I'm just tired and everything is blowing up in my head. It doesn't help that he hasn't texted me back in two hours. No, I'm gonna be good. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

There's not really much else to talk about, but I feel better when I'm just pointlessly typing this stuff. So maybe I'll just keep typing. I don't feel like going to sleep yet- I don't want to have any chance of waking up too early. I need to pack an overnight bag. We're leaving tomorrow morning to go watch Fiddler on the Roof and then we're gonna stop by BuildABear so I can make Will a koala for Valentine's Day. Ha. Ha. Heh. Then we're gonna stay the night at Nanna's. Will says he wants to do breakfast tomorrow before we leave. Betcha $20 it won't happen. I know, I'm still being bitter. Can't help it. You'd be bitter, too. I'm probably gonna read this later and be really embarrassed, but hey. We all have our moments. Right? Yeah. Only human. Man, I'm sleepy.

You know how many essays I've written in the past week? Seven. It's insane. They were all timed, too. I'm gonna get frikkin carpal tunnel. Will just sent me "I hate the lack of signal here." I sent back "Yeah, it's definitely brightening my world." Gahhhhhd, why am I so mean tonight?! I never go to parties.. The only party I've even been to since like 7th grade was a couple months ago. And it was Carli's going away party sleepover thing at Taryn's house. So it was just some girls that watched romantic comedies all night. Not crazy boys that do crazy things. Why don't I have a frikkin LIFE?!

Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur, happy kitty, sleepy kitty, pur, pur, purr....

I'm making myself look like a total psycho and yet I wonder why on earth I have no one to hang out with ;].

Now my phone is freaking out and sending Will random texts that I'm sending to Mary/Rodrigo/Courtney. And it's like the worst possible ones he could get. Lovely. Night, all!